My Husband Which Is Me is a parody, investigation, and performative insertion into the online “trad wife” phenomenon, in which women perform and monetize traditional femininity by making videos in which they cook for their husbands or kids. I adopt the aesthetics and mannerisms of one of the most popular tradwife influencers in cooking meals for my husband, who I tongue-in-cheek identify as me. By identifying my husband as “me”, I queer a right wing phenomenon and make visible the domestic labor involved in sustaining everyday life. My Husband Which Is Me went viral on December 8, 2024, garnering 1.5 million views, for cooking Italian food for alleged United Healthcare CEO shooter Luigi Mangione, whom I claimed as my husband.
My Husband Which Is Me includes live performances in which I lecture on the relationship between trad wives and rising authoritarianism while cooking food for the audience.